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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Hello! I’m here to post a letter( oops is it should go letter box instead?) on behalf of our dear Wenee! So here it is!

Dear 小组( Yong en, Yue Han, Samuel, Ye Ting, Zihao, Joshua, Jia Yun, Jayne, Rae),
I hope I will be making sense here, cos I’m writing this at midnight after 3 consecutive days of lack of sleep. Anyway these are just some thoughts that I would wish to share with you all, since it would be so hard to be able to get to talk to everyone of you. So please make sure the letter gets circulated to everyone k?

I heard about the meeting you all had after the bazaar that day, unfortunately I was unable to be there due to a scheduled project meeting with my professor at 4plus. I know that it was an impromptu meeting, which meant that Joshua was unable to be there as well, is my guess correct? In any case, I heard snapshots from Zihao, Vania, & Rae separately, & hence learnt that you all were trying to come up with some concrete solutions to help & work on the group. It is good that you all decided to collectively work o it together, just that I believe you all should keep any absentees in the loops as well even if they happen not to be there. Cos we won’t be able to know what happened unless we are updated & it wouldn’t be good to exclude any group members from what you are doing just cos they weren’t there. Yup, so I am waiting for updates.

Just to clarify with all of you, I am still in this xiao zu, just that I’ve joined tian di wu ming as well. I would still join you all as long as there is ample notice.

Anyway I feel it’s good that you all have decided to work on the problems in the cell bit by bit. Though I am not really sure what proposals you all have, at least we are taking some actions now. Honestly, for a long long time, I’ve gotten impatient with the group and given up hope. The lack of activities, the lack of 坦诚，the lack of support from the cell members ( of course not everyone is like that to everyone in the cell). I’m not sure if you all have noticed the many cliques in the cell, way more thanthe boys vs girls cliques, & the cliques obviously won’t help cos it would mean there would be people kept completely/ almost out of touch with the rest of the group. No one knows what’s going on with the person, and vice versa. Like I mentioned in the last cell BS, the lack of physical & moral & emotional support would equals to no spiritual support. Without knowing what’s going on in each other’s life, wanting to be a spiritual aid to the other’s life wanting to be a spiritual aid to the other will be all but empty talk.

Of course, I don’t know if I’m repeating what you all have mentioned in the meeting two Sundays ago cos I wasn’t there, but at least I would just like to share what I’ve been thinking/ feeling for the past few months in summary. (If I can still remember what I was planning to say). Firstly, I still want to thank Jia Yun and Jayne for all the efforts they’ve been trying to put in to make this group work. Thanks for not giving up on the group. I think they deserve a pat on the shoulder regardless of how things have turned out, agree? So, you know what to do when you walk past them sometime ya?

I’ll just like to point out some issues.
(1) The way we handle the group would need to change, now that our age range have increased from 16-19 to 19-22, I guess we can tell that the characters may have changed, attitudes too, and also the maturity level. I know deep down everyone needs to be revealed and shared in order to grow. I am of course, not against having fun and letting loose every now and then, just that we all need to learn to adjust to talking to each other differently now.

(2) I’ll like to have a clear idea who our 组长 is right now. Cos right now there are a few organizers for our group activities, but it doesn’t seem clear who our leader is. I would feel it is very important to know as a collective who we are accountable to and who’s the person coordinating & getting directions for the group. We can of course have shared responsibilities to ease off the load from the组长’shoulders. But we need to know who the leader is. What do you think? If not it can be like 一盘散沙when it’s 群龙无首.

(3) The accountability to each other, as I have mentioned earlier. Keep everyone in the loop of the latest updates in the cell so no one would be left out and lost when the group has progressed.

(4) To give ample notice for any activities organized. As everyone has different commitments & busy periods, I wouldn’t encourage calling for meetings without at least a week’s notice cos it will mean we are bound to leave someone out who has already scheduled his/ her activities earlier. I admit I’ve intentionally skipped meetings which were called within one or two day’s notice as I feel it should not become a practice. If every meeting we call, only about half the group is present, then I feel it’s high time that we check each other’s schedules in order to reduce schedule clashes to the minimal. It would be pretty pointless if every cell meeting, the same people can’t make it not because they don’t want to come, but because they weren’t informed early enough for them to block off the time for the group.

Lastly, I think I would just like to share with you all something I read in a Christian book. Learn to forgive. You may have question marks in your head now, wondering why I am talking about this. But, think of it this way, over the months and years, who has not become disappointed/ frustrated/ angry with the group? Covert or overt, we know that these emotions are there. Things have gone haywire in the group, and we’ve even sat down a few times wondering if there is a point at all in continuing this cell group, like maybe God has intention for us to close it all together. Today, I had bible study with the tian di wu ming people, on the exact same topic we talked about the last time- single hood vs marriage. Then it suddenly struck me on what God might be telling us.
(To refresh your memory/ give you the knowledge) The whole idea was about marriage/ companionship/ fellowship(which would of course include cell group). Is for us humans to work towards the purpose of God’s creation:
-to grow in His image
-to inherit & reflect His glory
-to enjoy Him, our God forever.

If we follow consistently with God’s purpose in our lives, then would it even make sense that God wants this group to end just like that, full of conflicts/ regrets/ disappointments? A group ended/ continued in that way will never fulfill God’s purpose in our lives.
If you still remember the teaching from that bible study, it includes a lesson that we are to learn self-sacrificial love for each other. Put in laymen’s terms, it plainly means, “don’t be self-centred”. Yeow Hua has mentioned time and again that 自我中心的人是不可能全心全意地跟上帝的( or the like).

Why am I talking about this? Cos when we are all immersed in our own emotions and displeasure with the group, who is the focus? Isn’t it ourselves? Doesn’t that equal 自我中心? I just hope everyone can take some time, think about it, pray about it. Ask ourselves; ask God, have I been self-centered all this while? Can a group of self-centered brothers and sisters in Christ really love each other wholeheartedly?

Let me just end with the section I read on the book of forgiveness:
[FORGIVE]
A real step of courage and will. We must forgive those who hurt us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you forgive, you remain their prisoner. Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives & the lives of others (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). We have to let it all go.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.(Colossians 3:13)

Now-listen carefully. Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling- don’t try and feel forgiving. It is an act of the will. “Don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving,” wrote Neil Anderson. “You will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice of forgiveness is made”. We allow God to bring up the hurt from our past, for “if your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional care of your life, it will be incomplete,” said Anderson. We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to … those who hurt us. This is NOT saying,” It didn’t really matter”; it is NOT saying, “ I probably deserved part of it anyway.” Forgiveness says, “It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God.”

It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands.

Ponder over this write-up, listen if it speaks to you.

That’s all I have to say/ can remember to say for now. Hopefully we all have a time to slow down and think about it. Just remember, it would obviously not be God’s intention to make us leave with bitter emotions & hurt from the experiences & memories in this 小组. Let’s all work on it together, & maybe one day we will hear God’s true voice to us.

Hope it makes sense to you, the things I have said, & may all I have said be what God delights in.

Love,
婉雯
27th Jul 2008
01:35 am

Yupes that’s all.. Thanks a lot da jie, I feel very touched by your letter,, It has indeed spoke to me! May we continue to love each other with the love that comes from God!!

†ją¥→ђє†™


Family is Love!!